Just a day ago when i felt the sense of relief and experienced the joy of things. And, it had to happen all over again. today. at the table. the "randomly picking answers for MCQs" act surfaced. and those thoughts that go "my answers must be wrong". why cant i just pick myself up from this shit and work all the way up again? it's so tiring. trying again and again, just to fall flat on my nose.

dont tell me how i need to prove myself to others. im doing all these, completely for myself. im not obliged to do what it takes. and i wouldnt. it's not about my mind anymore. it's about the heart.

Mdm Connie Chan once said "if you feel sad that you got bad results for your exams, you are a good student." how true. and yet, how inapplicable. my heart's numb. it no longer hurts. but the anxiety and fear lingers on.

i want myself back.

-

lousy day. but thanks to my girls! Qimin, this is for you! >.<

(:

SINGAPORE 2010!!!
wheeeeeeeeeeeeee~ :D

yays. the pride of being Singaporean. haha. (:

due to my sister's incessant pleas to thank her, i have no choice but to do so. =p

THANK YOU AH HUI for your silly sms.

WHERE'S MY PRESENT!?

gRrrrr.

IM FINALLY GONNA BLOG BOUT MY BDAY!! oh man it's so darn tiring uploading all these photos! i almost gave up!

020208! at shuhui's house! (:

we had steamboat! it was yong tau foo soup at first..

then it became seaweed soup..

and then.. the sewage.. we ended up playing zhong ji mi ma with this yucky soup..

soonhock and i had a birthday cake! his bday falls on the day before mine! (:

us! flea, seeyun, lucas, me, shuzie and soonhock! (:

haha, ksh and i cutting our cake!

this is what i got from shuzie!! :D

thanks ALOT shuzie for 11 years of friendship and for everything you have done!! *hugs*

~*~*~*~*~*~

040208! with the new batch of exco of esprimere! (:

mini cakes for me, chinyee and baobao!

6 candles for 60 years of age! =p

we huff and we puff.. and..

chinyee is hardly making any effort! hahahahaha =p

baobao, chinyee, me and deedee!! :D no pei, no xinhuan! ):

earrings for me!

and a very cute deer pendant! (:

thanks bao, chinyee, deduan, pei, lishi and sitong for the presents! :D and thanks ALOT to pei and dd for buying them yea! i know you guys had a hard time picking our presents! but they fit us damn well la! bao's more mature dressing sense, cy's sweet image and.. my childish image. damn.):

~*~*~*~*~*~

050208!! with hu8t disney~!! :D

i received this from Irene early in the morning. haha look closer! it's 5566!! hahaha. thanks girl. (:

the surprise planned by bao!! an ambush outside 2.08 when we were having soci..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BAOXUAN AND ME!! so sweet of her to plan this surprise for ME even though her bday's next week!

clemen couldnt wait for us to blow the candles out..

haha still very surprised.. they succeeded la. :D

baobao collecting her present from yingfeng~

me collecting mine from yingfeng~

see the different treatment! a strawberry for yf..

and eeeyer, strawberry for guohao.. *makes funny face*

baobao displaying her new glam pouch!

me trying to open my present..

it's difficult to open can..

ta dah~!! my accessories holder!

yea~ us!! the guys: clemen, guohao, jerome and alan. the girls: may, huimin, me, baobao and xiurong! (:

then! two shuai ges came to pick us up in their cars! hahahaha. yingfeng and eric!!

we went to cine! and here's the guys playing air hockey!

we had teppanyaki for lunch! :D

the chef's so pro!! (:

eric, jer and clemen..

fooooooooooooood!! *slurps*

next we went PartyWorld!! *sing sing sing*

then we had ding tai feng for dinner!! (: oh hoyang came.. haha.

i like this pic alot! the 4 of them look nice in it! haha.

poor ling pek pek.. =p

guohao taking our orders.. we look like we are eating outside the restaurant =.=

xiao long bao~!! :D

yea us having dinner..

then we went to esplanade and waited for the fireworks!! wheeeee~ my first time!

us playing truth or dare with zhong ji mi ma.. poor bao and xr were so damn suey.. haha.

FIREWORKS!! these are the nicer pics taken by May da jie! it was beautiful~

thanks OG8 for the wonderful day.. for the celebration, the present and a whole day of fun and bonding!! yays~! i had loads of fun~!! (: you guys rawk!! I FEEL SO SO SO BLESSED. thanks guys! lovelove!!

~*~*~*~*~*~

then at night.. 050208-060208! had a mini surprise! (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!! (:

haha candles and sparklers~ (:

another cake!! this cake's very pretty with the ribbons and all~ haha.

and.. my present!! yays~

thanks ALOT for all your effort and time ya! :D

~*~*~*~*~*~

060208, reunion dinner cum celebration for sis and i at ahma's house! (:

my FIFTH cake for the week. ewww bulging fats.. *shudders* anw my sister's lunar bday's on first day of cny! dat's why my mum wants us to celebrate tgt! hehe. the chocolate was very very rich!! and.. fattening. hahahaha.

me, my sis and ethan, my cutest cousin!!

this is rachel, the cousin i used to pat to sleep when she was young, and me!!

ethan and me!! he's so damn cute!! he likes to nuah ppl! haha. and i like to nuah ppl too.. so i like it when he nuahs me. hahahaha. :D

he's even cuter here!! loves! (:

and so! im officially TWENTY now. ahhhhhhhhh. im old.. *sniffs*

gotta thank a number of peeps now..

Yingfeng, Kianseng, Alan pekpek, Eric, Guohao, Shuhui, Cherlynn, Kailuen, Hoyang, Deduan, Alicia, Lijia, Sinyee -wiggly, Lucas, Chinyee -taiyang, Zhenling, Christine, WenNee, Nigel -son, Qimin, Huimin, Tianlu, Alvin, Yuya, Geraldine, Weihui, Pris, Xiurong, Weiquan, Seokhwee, Leon, NeSt, Jia An, Fukang, Aunt Chris, Zhanxin, Clement, William, Krystal -airen, Pearlyn mummy, Dominique, Waishin, Jiahan, Suyee, Weijing, little Simin, Qiting -auntie, May, Xiumin, Sitong, Rachel, YuanIng, Aunt Hwa, Jiaxing, Yuqian, Jackson -bro, Mavis and Ah Heng! thanks for all your smses!!

wow that's alot of people!! really really feel very blessed. thanks for remembering, peeps!! thanks so much! (:

Suying, Soonhock, Jason, Yuya (again :D), Seeyun, Audris, Lishi -xinhuaaan, Meizhen -mei, Alan pekpek (again :D), Mattchen, Colin, Sharon and Alvin (again :D), for your wishes on Facebook and Friendster!!

wheeeee~

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! THANK YOU PPL!! :D